Anal Sex

We’re back with some new tips on anal sex. This week we look at the best positions for pleasurable anal sex.

The best positions for anal sex depend on many factors. Depending on the type of anal sex you want to have and your personal needs, there are a wide variety of positions for pleasurable anal sex. I won’t say that this is an exhaustive list; we humans come in so many shapes and sizes that there will never be a position that will work for everyone. However, the beauty of this wide range of options means that there is a lot of fun to be had trying them out!

A look at anal sex methods

Play with your partner to find the positions that give her but also you the most pleasure – on the back, lying on the side, kneeling, squatting, leaning forward. I recommend that you start with the positions in which you feel most relaxed. 

Many anal sex beginners prefer to explore in the shower or bath – the heat can be a great way to start your journey to anal pleasure. Lying down, squatting or with one knee up, leaning against a wall, you can try them all in the safety and privacy of your bathroom.

Anal massage

When teaching anal massage, the primary position for the donor is one where he or she is comfortable and can move easily to change positions. Sitting cross-legged and leaning against the head of your bed with your partner flat on your lap may be a good idea at first. 

Typically, the person receiving the massage lies flat on their stomach with their hips supported by pillows or a rolled up towel. Massage her back to warm her up and relax her, before slowly moving to her buttocks and anus. Use massage strokes with warm, lubricated hands. This massage allows blood to circulate in the area, which increases sensation. External massage of the buttocks and anus with hands and fingers can naturally evolve into the same type of movements with the tongue.

Anilingus ; licking, kissing, sucking the anus with the mouth or tongue.

Anilingus is ideal if you want to have your hands free to enjoy other areas at the same time. Depending on how much of the buttocks you get to handle, you may have to spread the buttocks outward or ask the owner of the buttocks to do it for you. This allows for easy, lickable access to the anus.

Explore bending positions and experiment with the angle of support with pillows that works best for you, especially thinking about the position(s) that allow for a smooth transition from lush massage to crushing. You want your partner to be easily and completely accessible and both of you to feel relaxed and comfortable. For yoga enthusiasts a sassy downward dog position is excellent and will allow you easy access to her anus. And of course, there’s always the classic 69 position if you want to perform oral sex at the same time.

Positions for anal penetration with a penis or strap-on 

For any anal penetration for beginners, I always recommend starting in a shallow position, and moving the dildo/penis in slow circular motions to facilitate penetration. This allows the anus to adjust to the sensations and girth slowly and safely.

It is very important to adopt a position that allows you to easily control the depth of your penetration so that your partner has complete autonomy. If eye contact and the ability to see and read your partner’s face is important to you, lay her on her back. You can use pillows under the hips to help achieve the best angle of penetration. For more advanced and deeper penetration, the partner can put her legs on your shoulders. Using mirrors can also be a great way to maintain eye contact without having to face each other.

The side-lying spooning position is particularly well suited to most people, as the difference in height does not matter (standing or doggy style may require some modification if one partner is much taller or shorter than the other). This position has the added benefit of offering a feeling of closeness and love, with lots of skin-to-skin contact between you and your partner. 

Positions that allow hands to easily stimulate the clitoris, penis and nipples are excellent. Standing, doggy style, spooning and reverse cowboy are ideal for this. 

Advanced anal techniques 

After exploring “softer” anal sex techniques, such as anal massage, and then venturing into penetration with fingers, a penis or toys, some people choose to explore more intense forms of anal sex, such as fisting, gaping/stretching or double penetration. These more intense forms of anal play require a lot of communication, trust, and practice, so if intense anal sex is something you want to try, be sure to work towards it. 

Whatever stage you want to go to, make sure you respect the limits of your pleasure, practice safe and hygienic sex, and plan for aftercare for you and your partner. 

What matters is what works for you!

The best anal sex positions are the ones in which you feel most comfortable, most excited, most empowered and most pleased ! Different days, settings, partners, or toys can influence which position works best for you at any given time. Our best advice is to take your time, breathe, connect and listen to your body before, during and after anal play.

The body and buttocks are a beautiful playground ready to be explored!